All I do is push people away and then wonder why I’m so lonely. I can’t help but isolate myself from the world. Sometimes I just want to disappear. I’m so lost. I’ve been trying to find myself for so long and I really just don’t know that the fuck I’m doing. I’m losing my mind. I’m going insane. And I’m the o my one to blame. I’m just feeling really low right now. I’ve been praying for miracles for months now and sometime so just feel as if nothing is ever gonna go right. I’m tired and drained and my mental health has declined. I just don’t ducking know anymore.

Today was just so disappointing. I’m disappointed in myself and in my life at this point. And I hate that I can’t hide this feeling. There’s something wrong with me. I just need help.

I’m just feeling so lost and so stressed out. I’m contemplating if I really made the right decision and I’m really starting to lose hope. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy. I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.

He’s everything that I’ve ever wanted. It I still can’t bring myself to be happy. I don’t think I’ll ever be.

I’ve been crying a lot lately. I’m just scared that I’m gonna end up getting hurt.

Take me back to being carefree and happy. When I didn’t have to spend my days pretending that I was okay and my nights crying myself to sleep.

I’m depressed and I’m sad and I’m lonely and I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired and I give up.

It seems like all odds are against us at this point. I’m tired of getting broken down and beaten. I don’t want to go through it again. Fighting only to have my heart shattered. Maybe we aren’t making the right decision.

I’m going crazy without you by my side. Is it even okay to feel this way when we haven’t been to together for very long? Or is that just validation that what we have is real? I hope that this is real. I pray that this is real. Because at this point, there’s no else that I would want by my side other than you. I miss you each and every second that you aren’t with me. I want so badly to be in your arms at this very moment. To feel you next to me. To see your face and hear your voice. I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces and it won’t be whole again until you come back home to me.